Perfectly imperfect

I've had an eating disorder as long as I can remember, I've lived this way my entire live and I've never been actually happy. Ive had moments of joy of course everyone has, but ED has always been lurking around in my head reminding me that if only I was skinny it would make my life better. ED tells me my life hasn't really started until my body is perfect. I'll start again on Monday. THIS year.. Will be MY year, I'll finally get skinny, then.. THEN I'll be happy. If I've learned anything from my friends is recovery it's, Skinny doesn't make you happy. It's never enough, its never perfect. Did you know, perfect isn't even real? Did you know that? Nothing is actually perfect. PERFECT is a figment of your imagination... It was put there by society to make you buy things, and always leave you wanting more. To keep you unsatisfied and discontent. I've learned A LOT since I first realized I have Binge Eating Disorder in 2012, and the main thing is that perfect is bullshit. Nope, perfect isn't real.

Imperfection however is something I've come to enjoy. Imperfection is something we can grasp, not only that, but something we should embrace. It's my imperfections that make me unique, make me whole, make me.... Stacey. Stacey is the ONLY person I want to be. I mean come on, I think I'm pretty rad. I'm learning to focus on the things about myself that I like. Things that set me apart of others. Yes, as of right now ok talking about my physical body (AWKWARD) I have a few freckles on my upper back that I've always thought was beautiful.. That if I wasn't me, I'd find it beautiful about me. I also have a freckle on the inside of my shoulder and outside of my collarbone, I've always like that too... My eyes are a really unique color and I have full eyelashes that curl on their own when graced with mascara. I understand these are traits NOT effected by weight but, baby steps right? My body is imperfect, but perfection is a myth remember? So I guess that makes my body completely acceptable.

Perfectly imperfect.